I can count on one hand the number of times I have eaten a meal in a food court. Yesterday, I moved on to the second hand. Bill had an appointment at the hospital in Fredericton. He hadn’t had any solid food since Thursday evening, so by the time his appointment ended he was hungry, but wanted something mushy and bland. Where better to find something mushy and bland than the food court at the Regent Mall? I had missed lunch, and by 2:30, my breakfast smoothie was a distant memory. I was skeptical that I would find anything at the mall I considered real food, but deferred to Bill’s compromised condition.

Being more of a food court connaisseur, he steered me toward the Asian-themed places while he went for an order of fries – suitably bland and mushy. After perusing the choices, I decided on an order of pad Thai with tofu. The two cooks were right up front at the kiosk. They kept up a lively conversation punctuated with laughter while they chopped, stirred, and shook the ingredients for a steady stream of patrons. The aroma was enticing, but by then I would have been happy with mukluk soup. Finally one of them, looked up from his wok and sang out my number.He scooped the golden rice noodles and tofu onto a styrofoam plate, and handed it to me with a flourish.

I was thankful for the tinted lenses on my glasses as I searched for Bill’s white curly head under the fluorescent glare. We spotted each other and made our way to a white pressboard table with hard plastic chairs. I tore open my cellophane package of fancy long-handled fork and knife. Was their grassy green colour an attempt to lull the consumer into thinking there was some environmental responsibility involved in the production of this meal? I wondered.

The first forkful of “pad Thai” (note the quotation marks) was a clue to the prevalence of obesity in North America. The sugar content made my toes curl.

At the end of the meal, we had a rather astonishing pile of garbage on our table. The only compostable items were the glop of rice noodles, the paper tray liner which served as a promo for Coca-Cola products, and the greasy table napkin. All the rest would go directly to the landfill site.

Next time I’ll plan ahead and pack a lunch.

Yum – pad Thai with as much sugar as a piece of cherry pie.

An environmental embarrassment.